Red Ring of Death, 5 Stages of The
1. Disbelief
“What in the fucking fuck? I was almost done with Fallout 3! You fucking piece of SHIT!”
2. Anger
“This shit has happened to every fucking person I know who has an Xbox 360! How have they gotten away with this? I don’t even want a 360 anymore! How much is a PS3? Oh. Really? That much, huh?”
3. Relief
“Thank God this piece of shit is covered by the warranty. I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay $99 to fix Microsoft’s engineering fuckup.
4. Waiting
“Come on, UPS. You’re delivering an empty goddamned box. Hurry it up already. Damn, man.”
5. Acceptance/Anger
“Well, that was the longest week of my life, but at least I’m good to go. Now where’s that Fallout 3 disk? Oh. Oh no. Oh fuck! I left it in the broken Xbox! NOOOOOO!”
Dicks of Tron
In 1984, emboldened by its move to create a more adult branch of its movie division (Touchstone Pictures), The Walt Disney Company decided to re-license to Bally Midway another version of the popular arcade game Discs of Tron.
Planned as an expansion of the first game, the lengthy Dicks of Tron would cost $1 to play and would be marketed to a highly targeted audience: gay men in large cities. It would have existed under the new brand Bone-Up Games.
Set in the then-bustling world of ultra-low-speed modem sex chat, Dicks of Tron was to star Chuff Britches and ahead-of-his-time Digital Penny-Tration as the lead characters on what was to be a hybrid-laser-disk arcade game with a custom-built soft-rubber joystick.
When word leaked that the game was in development, Disney received a very persuasive letter from Focus on the Family, causing the company to reconsider and to shelve the project. Only a few pieces of concept art and a four-paragraph script still exist from Dicks.
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