Asteroids, Your Excitable Nephew’s Recounting Of Your Game Of


Nephew

You were the ship and you were spinning around and you were like shooting everywhere PEW PEW PEW PEW! And then these GIANT ROCKS were trying to kill you and you were like NO WAY and you PEW PEW PEW PEW KAPLURGHGG! Boom! But then the rock turned into smaller rocks and they were coming RIGHT AT YOU (AAAAHHHH!) and you were all “not today rocks!” And you used your, uh, your… uh.. used your, ummm… (uncle: “thrusters”) YEAH! frusters! And you flew everywhere! Woooo! Ssssssssoooooom! Pew pew pew! KABOOOOOM! And then there were these tiny stupid rocks but you  were ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! see you later rockgator! And then you only had two little rocks left but then a SPACESHIP came in! Dun dun dun! And it was trying to KILL YOU! Zzzzpew! Zzzzzpew! Oh no! It’s going to get us! Fire lasers! FIRE LASERSSSSS! You shot at it but you couldn’t it hit! Then it almost got you! Remember that? Oh man! Then YOU GOT IT! KAAAABLLLLLOOOOM! Yeah! The universe was saved! That was the best!

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Reader Comments

I think the next band I start in Rock Band is going to have to be called Uncle Thrusters.

“The Power of Rock is Relative”

*admiringly* how do you think up these topics?!

Sweet, sweet opiates.

The power of rock compels you!