Blast Processing, Transformative Properties Of


Blast Processing

Few rivalries were as ferocious as the 16-bit era competition between Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES). Genesis was first to enter the market and gained a substantial headstart but the impressive hardware and exclusive software of the SNES threatened Sega’s lead. In response the Sega marketing created the term “Blast Processing” to tout the superior redraw speed of the console. Sega positioned the Genesis as the only place you’d ever be able to play demanding games like Sonic the Hedgehog. Blast Processing made the ordinary extraordinary and the mundane exceptional. When you apply Blast Processing special, magical results can happen:

Before Blast Processing After Blast Processing
Mousy girl from school Smoking hot babe who’s into you
Guard dog Pack of guard wolves with bazookas
Vectorboy Vectorman
Quarter Pounder with cheese Half Pounder with $100 in cash
High definition TV 110% true definition super TV
Venti latte Zero-calorie latte silo
Don’t Walk sign You Walk, Everyone Else Stay Put sign
Jaw cancer Jawbreakers
Wool cardigan Wolverine’s Car Again!
Bran Flakes Bran Frosted Flakes (which circle around you and shoot lasers at your enemies and also make you breakfast every day)

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Reader Comments

I want one of those processors in me, Sega!

Before Blast Processing: Galaga.
After Blast Processing: GALLAGA