Super 3D Noah’s Ark

The only SNES game without the Nintendo Seal of Approval to be commercially released, Super 3D Noah’s Ark was exactly like Castle Wolfenstein 3D but with less Nazis and more cranky goats. Instead of fresh-ripping ammo and kick-ass guns you fed animals berries and other fruit with a slingshot.

Your parents bought you this because: They were worried about your soul but didn’t think you’d go to Sunday School without some level of bargaining.

Robin Hood / Sir Lancelot

One of three “double ender” collections released by Xonox, the Robin Hood / Sir Lancelot cartridge looked like two ColecoVision cartridges tragically sewn together at the head. Sir Lancelot was a serviceable Joust clone but Robin Hood made as much sense as an emu in a submarine. It was like getting a game and a quarter for the price of two.

Your parents bought you this because: Your Dad had a coupon.

Apple Pippin

Apple’s answer to a question no one asked. Following the business model of the ill-fated 3Do, Apple licensed their magical game-playing hardware and software platform to all who would sign up. Only Bandai signed up. They made about 2,000 and then started to think about more important things like who the hell was going to play the Pink Power Ranger.

Your parents bought you this because: They placed too much stock in the guy from Babbages.

Super Deluxe PlayStation 2 Portable Kit and Carrying Case

This celebrated carrying case featured superior memory foam padding for the PS2, controllers, power brick, special zipped pockets for all cables, plenty of game slots and areas for instruction books plus an attachable 7 inch monitor and car adapter for bringing the PlayStation 2 on car trips.

Your parents bought you this because: They wanted to see the light go out of your eyes when you realized they didn’t also buy you a PS2.