Dance Dance Revolution, Most Common Injuries Associated with


DDR

Dance Dance Revolution, or DDR, as it is known on the mean streets, looks like innocent fun, but according to doctors whom we happen to know (of), the game has caused more injuries than football, soccer, hockey and baseball combined and then divided by a very large number.

Among the most frequent ailments that befall DDR‘ers:

  • Dance fever
  • Elongated groin
  • Twisty leggy
  • Spinnination
  • Dance knee
  • Double dance knee
  • Double dance knee revolution 2
  • Boogie elbow
  • Pregnancy
  • Head-spin dance pad burns
  • Massive rectal curiosity
  • Bleeding ears
  • The Boogie-Woogies (latent)
  • Cancer of the beat
  • Hop-to-itiveness
  • Permanent restless legs syndrome
  • 170 heart bpms
  • Herpes

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March 18th, 2008
10 Responses
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Reader Comments

Comment Number:
1
Written by:
Glark
Posted on:
Mar 18, 2008 at 12:09 am

I have massive rectal curiosity but I’m not sure it’s the same kind your are describing.

Is it a massive case of being curious about rectums or is it curiosity about giant rectums?

Comment Number:
2
Written by:
Omar G.
Posted on:
Mar 18, 2008 at 12:12 am

Sometimes it’s the former, sometimes it’s the latter. The important symptom is the CURIOSITY.

Comment Number:
3
Written by:
Glark
Posted on:
Mar 18, 2008 at 12:12 am

I think it goes without saying…TELL ME MORE!

Comment Number:
4
Written by:
Omar G.
Posted on:
Mar 18, 2008 at 12:13 am

No. That would feed INTO your problem and this is an exit-only issue.

But I’m glad you assed.

Comment Number:
5
Written by:
Glark
Posted on:
Mar 18, 2008 at 12:14 am

I think you are talking out of your ass.

Comment Number:
6
Written by:
Glark
Posted on:
Mar 18, 2008 at 12:15 am

And that excites me.

Comment Number:
7
Written by:
Omar G.
Posted on:
Mar 18, 2008 at 12:16 am

Oh my God. I think you have terminal Boogie-Woogies!

Comment Number:
8
Written by:
ygg
Posted on:
Mar 18, 2008 at 2:42 pm

At least two of your DDR injuries listed indicate partipation in sexual activities of some kind. This is clearly a grievous journalistic error, given that the occurrence of sexual activity amongst active DDR enthusiasts is roughly nil.

Comment Number:
9
Written by:
Omar G.
Posted on:
Mar 18, 2008 at 3:09 pm

You’ve obviously never been to Japan. It’s like Spanish Fly over there. But Japanese. Japanese Fly. Tsetse.

Comment Number:
10
Written by:
ygg
Posted on:
Mar 18, 2008 at 4:14 pm

Yes, but so is, like, spray-on tan. And tentacles. And a very large number of other items too numerous to list, only a fraction of which are actually sexy. So! Doesn’t count! Nyah.