Videogamey

Dirk the Daring, Other Adjectives Ascribed to

Posted by Omar G.
Jan 21, 2008

Dirk the Daring

While Dirk, the hero of Dragon’s Lair, will be known through history as “Dirk the Daring,” the descriptor belongs to a time (Middle Ages) and place (scary castle) where it was most apt. In other stages of his life, Dirk found himself described in other ways:

Infancy and Childhood

Dirk the Drooly
Dirk the Diaper-Filler
Dirk the Developmentally Unremarkable
Dirk the Apron-Puller
Dirk the Mud-Stained

Middle School Years

Dork the Dorktastic
Dirk the Lunch-Gold-Giver
Dirk the Dyslexic
Dirk the Boner-in-Class-Haver

High School Years

Dirk the Druggie
Dirk the Despondent
Dirk the Sexually Ambiguous
Dirk the Drama Clubber
Dirk the Pimply
Dirk the Guy Who Can Only Go Left, Right, Up, Down or Sword

Middle Age

Dirk the Divorced
Dirk the Deadbeat Dad
Dirk the Dude
Dirk the Porsche-Buyer and 22-Year-Old-Girl-Dater
Dirk the Hipster Doofus
Dirk the Not-Quite-So-Daring-as-20-Years-Ago

Old Age

Dirk the Incontinent
Dirk the Dementia-Sufferer
Dirk the Toothless
Dirk the Cat Fancier

Posthumous

Dirk the Dead

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Information: January 21st, 2008; 2 Responses

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Reader Comments

Comment Number:: 1
Written by:: barkingspace
Posted on:: Jan 21, 2008 at 8:25 am

That last comment?
Ominous.

Comment Number:: 2
Written by:: RCP
Posted on:: Jan 22, 2008 at 3:44 pm

Keeping that in mind, Dirk’s descendants mostly avoided his fate. One exception was his distant grandson Ace, who was called “Brace Ace” through middle school, “Zitface Ace” in high school, and “Revese Transcriptase Ace” while struggling for respect as a geneticist, before finding fame as “Space Ace.”