“I just wave this thing around with the laser all around the house? All right, I can do that. Do you have any Purell or Germ-X, or a moist towlette at least? I know we’re friends, but I don’t know which of your friends might have used this Wii thing. It’s not you! Really! I just like to be careful. All right, here we go. I’ll just tidy some things up with this laser gun, maybe rearrange the bookshelves so that OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HOLY MESS IS THAT!? That little blue thing! It’s disgusting! Why is it hiding? It’s hiding behind the books, doing God knows what back there! Ugh, think of all the dust and the dead, flaky skin cells and the feces. THE FECES! It does what? Reacts to electricity? THAT THING MUST DROP ELECTRICAL FECAL MATTER! Do you know what happens if you breathe that stuff into your lungs? Oh, oh, oh, I think I’m going to throw up, right here. Can I just… can I just not deal with that thing right now? Let’s go somewhere else. The kitchen sink maybe. I’ll just turn on the faucet HOLY NO THERE’S FOUR MORE OF THEM! There’s EVERYWHERE! Who is in charge of cleaning this house, an unwashed hog!? I’m going to grab one with a laser and flush it down the toilet right now, just watch me, right now THEY’RE ALL OVER THE TOILET! Spreading their filthy electrical germs all over the seat! I’m out. I can’t deal. Please, take this Wiimote and soak it in boiling water and then burn it with a blowtorch. I’m going home. I’ll be safe. I have plastic slipcovers.”