Elite Beat Agents, Your Real-World Dancing Skills as Critiqued by the
Agent Derek: I appreciated the way you were able to rhythmically tap on the lower screen of your Nintendo DS in time to songs like “Rock This Town’” and “Material Girl.” But the moment you got up off the couch and started moving those large chunks of furniture you call hips, I wanted to hand in my badge.
Agent J: It’s not a lack of rhythm per se, it’s that different parts of your body have too much rhythm, all working against each other. Like there’s a 10-way civil war happening. Mostly in your flapping arms.
Agent Morris: Yo, yo, dawg, I’m just keepin’ it real: you have a muscle disorder. That has to be it. I would see a doctor. Immediately. We out, yo.
Commander Kahn: I’m promoting the three of you for having to watch this person’s awful dancing. Effective immediately.
Agent Morris, J and Derek: YAY!
Agent Morris: But seriously, please stop dancing.
You agents are just jealous! JEALOUS because I am young and hot and AWESOME and not at all terrible and you are drunk has beens in bad suits! MY GIANT AFRO WILL BE REDDER. AND GIANTER! I’M GOING TO BE A FAMOUS POP STAR AND YOU’LL ALL BE SORRY.