Grand Theft Auto 4, Videogamey’s Super-Deluxe Ultra-Extreme Pre-Order Bundle Of


Of course you’re buying Grand Theft Auto 4. Don’t even act like you aren’t. All the cool, delinquent, wannabe gun-totin’ kids are gonna play. What, you think you’ll make it through the summer on Super Mario Galaxy? As though.

But even if you buy the game, you won’t really be experiencing it. Because you won’t have bought Videogamey’s Super-Deluxe Ultra-Extreme Pre-Order GTA4 Bundle. Handcrafted from the finest things we could find on these Internets, pored over by two grown men, offered now in very limited quantities, the VSDUEPOGTA4B is built to not only take you into the game, but to drag you out of it by the nape of your neck and then kick you in the asshole.

Look what this big-ass package includes:

  • One (1) copy of Grand Theft Auto 4 by Rockstar Games. (Optional)
  • One game console, your choice, as long as it’s Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 (Even we cannot procure a Wii for you.)
  • A case of Stoli Blueberi vodka.
  • A Ukranian bride (blonde). She smokes, she drinks, she calls you “Husband.” No exchanges. Now with two legs!
  • Hardly scratched 1973 Dodge Dart. No carjacking necessary.
  • 20-gallon aquarium with Grand Theft Auto 4 sticker decoratively applied on the glass. Exotic fish sold separately.
  • This awesome, yet relevant Glarkware shirt.
  • Crosman T4 Ops BB Gun.
  • Black metal futon frame with eXtreme Razor-Thin black mattress.
  • Filtrete 24″ x 30″ x 1″ electrostatic air filter.
  • Small yapping dog, breed unknown. Answers to “Ivan.”
  • Large box of assorted marbles.

Holy shit! You have to buy this!

This limited-edition bundle is signed by Glark and Omar G. and is delivered via ultra-speedy international ground shipping. To order, remit $10,000 via Paypal to vg (at) videogamey.com.

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April 11th, 2008
6 Responses
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Reader Comments

Comment Number:
1
Written by:
Glark
Posted on:
Apr 11, 2008 at 4:50 pm

Mmmmm… beneficial product placement.

Comment Number:
2
Written by:
Omar G.
Posted on:
Apr 11, 2008 at 5:04 pm

We are going to be RICH!

As long the kennel fee for this dog doesn’t eat into our awesome profits.

Comment Number:
3
Written by:
Glark
Posted on:
Apr 11, 2008 at 6:04 pm

We?

Comment Number:
4
Written by:
Glark
Posted on:
Apr 11, 2008 at 6:04 pm

(Look at your contract!) SNIP-SNAP!

Comment Number:
5
Written by:
Omar G.
Posted on:
Apr 11, 2008 at 6:19 pm

I thought “All your dollars are belong to Glark” was just legalese.

God…DAMMIT.

I’m keeping the marbles.

Comment Number:
6
Written by:
Lisa
Posted on:
Apr 11, 2008 at 7:14 pm

People will be KILLING each other for this offer … I think I’ll watch from the side lines.