Raif Jones: I don’t… I er… did you like it?
Clark Steel: Did you like it?
Raif: I asked you first.
Clark: I didn’t have an answer.
Raif: Goddammit, Clark…
Clark: Hey, don’t look at me! I haven’t seen a real woman in about seven years! I wouldn’t know what to say to one who I wasn’t paying to dance in my lap in some seedy Vietnamese dime parlor. These women had money and stuff.
Raif: And frankly awesome shoes. And I loved Carrie’s apartment. It was a real step up from the TV show.
Clark: You’ve seen the TV show?
Raif: Shut the fuck up, Clark. I’m trying to talk here. So, there’s these four women who are in various life stages, from dating to marriage to parenthood. And they’ve managed the remarkable feat of staying friends through life’s ups and downs.
Clark: I got the impression that they’ve fucked a lot of guys.
Raif: Jesus Christ, Clark, I will have your ears smelted into a goddamned cake mold if you don’t shut your cobbler hole.
Clark: Stop, Raif. You’re making me hungry.
Raif: Anyway… These women find that even though they may love many men in their lives, their loves for each other is, like, on a whole other level. So much so that they spun a whole movie out of it years after they’d done a series.
Clark: I was disappointed by how little mercenary work was shown in the movie. No guns-for-hire, no bounty hunting. They did some shopping. And went to Mexico. But no kidnapping.
Raif: Yeah, that was pretty unrealistic. Four savvy Americans go to Mexico and don’t even get mixed up in a little gun running?
Clark: People think I’m a Charlotte, but I really see myself as more of a Miranda. By the way.
Raif: Did I even fucking ask? Why are you even bringing that up?
Clark: I don’t know.
Raif: Clark, one of these days I’m going to pull your teeth out, grind them into a powder and repair my kitchen grout with it. You dumbass.
Clark: You keep telling me that.
Raif: (Long sigh.) So we liked it OK. The movie, I mean. And I’m a Carrie. Obviously.