In the cutthroat world of International Soccer almost anything goes. Being on top of the world of International Soccer is to be the admiration of the public and the envy of all your foes. It is the fuel for your dreams and the constant north star of your hopes. It is the alpha and the omega in your journey to become more than what you started as. International Soccer brings out the best and worst in all who suckle at its proverbial teat. It has built empires and destroyed civilizations. It is the kingmaker and the grim reaper. It is the big bang and it is ragnarok. Twenty-two men do battle and the victors dine in a soccery Valhalla.

For all these reasons and more, men across the globe have stepped into the shadowy underworld of International Soccer in a quest to learn the secrets of success. Here now for the first time in print is a complete list of those secrets:

1. Bounce the ball on your head repeatedly as you walk from one end of the pitch to the other.