Dear Mother,

Forgive me for not writing sooner. I have been protecting Earthrealm, which turns out to be much more of a time-sink that I could have ever expected.

I did receive your last e-mail and in the interest of saving time, of which I have little, I will answer your questions in the order you presented them:

1. No, I haven’t been watching the Olympics. I’ve been a little busy with the Earthrealm thing.

2. Yes, I heard about Michael Phelps and that guy from Jamaica.

3. No, I didn’t get to watch them online, either. Internet access is spotty in my Protector of Earthrealm post, so I wasn’t able to get to any of the videos.

4. No, I am not sorry I am not competing in the Olympics. I chose to represent the Shaolin discipline at the Mortal Kombat tournament and that was enough excitement for me.

5. That’s not fair. Even if I wanted to compete this year, which I didn’t, you seem to forget that I died last year and was a zombie before my body and spirit were reunited. I know that the government may be willing to look the other way on underage gymnasts, but I do not believe that even China has the balls to try to get a dead guy into the Taekwondo trials.

6. No, I do not want to meet your new boyfriend Mr. Ming. He will never be my father.

I will write again soon when I have time.

Your Son,
Liu Kang