Listen up Fairchild Camera and Instrument Corporation!

I am the number 5 and I’m here to help you dumb motherfuckers out.

NO! NO! You shut up Ross! We tried it your way and where are we? We are nowhere. That’s where we are. So you take your attitude and your pet rock and your ringer t-shirt of the Bay City Rollers, walk out of the room, clean your desk and get the fuck out of here because you’re useless! Oh yeah? Oh REALLY? Well up your nose with a rubber hose! Yeah. I thought so. Dumbass.

ANYWAYS. Look these Channel F games suck so bad that only the marketing power of me — the number 5 — can pull this shit ass new title Space War out of the shitter.

Scrap that dramatic painting of the spaceships firing turbo lasers at each other. I don’t care if Peter Max himself painted that! Just get it out of here. Fuck man.

Now I want to see the words “Space War” in very tiny letters and a motherfucking huge “5″ taking up almost the whole box. That’s fucking awesome, right? RIGHT?! Hell yes it is. That’s how we’re going to sell these. Yeah, sure put a rainbow in there, what the fuck do I care?

Now let’s celebrate at the Old Spaghetti Factory.