Developed by Eric Hammond and published by then-less-titanic Electronic Arts, One on One: Dr. J vs. Larry Bird was one of the first basketball games that didn’t feature stick figures shooting a square ball at a fork-shaped goal. The game, which was ported to several systems, was a sensation and later led to a remake featuring Michael Jordan and Larry Bird. Before that, however, one ambitious young EA marketer, Jerry Braker, was determined to expand the franchise. In this transcript of a secret corporate strategy meeting, we learn what might have been:

Trip Hawkins: Eric, I’m sorry we interrupted you, but Jerry has an idea I think you need to hear.

Eric Hammond: Great. What is it?

Jerry Braker: As you know, One on One has been a huge hit. People just love it. It’s like cocaine and Cyndi Lauper and a Ferrari all rolled into one.

Hammond: Thanks. That’s nice, I guess.

Braker: So, last night I was lying in bed, sweating, and I thought, “Why don’t we do more One on One games? Expand the franchise?”

Hammond: It’s funny, we were thinking the same thing, maybe get some other NBA players to sign on.

Braker: No, no, no. Not NBA. You’re thinking small roasted potatoes. I’m thinking giant. Baked. Huge. Sour cream. Aluminum foil.

Hammond: I don’t think I follow.

Braker: Football. Hockey. Baseball. Soccer. We could get every sport covered!

Hammond: You want us to do a bunch of sports games? That’s what you want Electronic Arts to focus on? Is there a market for that?

Braker: Not just sports games. One on One! We sign two big stars for each sport and make games out of them.

Hammond: Just two players for each sport?

Braker: YES! I’ve taken the liberty of securing the first big stars and they’re totally on board. Close your eyes and picture this: Joe Montana and Joe Theismann go one on one!

Hammond: How would they play football with just two players? Who would they throw the ball to?

Braker: Eric, listen, I’m not a computer game programmer. I don’t know how you put the BASIC together and do the GOTOs and less-thens and all that. I’m a marketer. And I just laid a giant gold crap of marketing genius in your lap. Gold, baby!

Hammond: No, see… Yes, I get it, but just logistically, I don’t see how two people can play against each other in a game of football. Or hockey. Or baseball and soccer, for that matter. I guess it could just be a game of catch, but that’s not something people are going to want to buy.

Braker: Look, maybe there’s a way for them to get down the field and catch the ball themselves. Like with a teleporter.

Hammond: Teleporter!?

Braker: Or, maybe a portable teleporter that shoots out of a gun or something. It shoots these portals.

Hammond: That is the dumbest idea for a videogame I’ve ever heard.

Braker: Oh, and the best part — we bring back the janitor who sweeps up the broken backboard. Every time one of the quarterbacks breaks a backboard, the janitor comes out and sweeps it off the field.

Hammond: Are we done? Can I get back to work?

Hawkins: Eric, I am so, so sorry. Jerry, you’re fired. Pack up your shit and get out of here.

Braker: But… my portals!

Braker never got to see any of his ideas incorporated into any videogames as he was hit by a bus just days after his firing. Only his immediately family was saddened by the news.