World adventurer Pitfall Harry, made legendary by the 1982 Atari 2600 game based on his life, was always careful only to step on the closed mouths of crocodiles. Unfortunately, he wasn’t quite so cautious when it came to contraception.

By some accounts, Harry left a trail of bastard children in jungles, caves, convents and mountain villages all over the world that numbered in the hundreds. It is said that Harry, who died of syphilis in 1989, attributed his potency to a cocktail he invented. It included among its ingredients poison from an albino scorpion’s tail and fermented fruit grown inside old vines, mixed together in a dirty fedora.

In 1991, the mothers of several of Pitfall Harry’s alleged offspring, including Danger Time Ming, Situation Mtumbo, Calamity Esperanza, Clusterfuck Riccola and Quicksand (Mouth Click) (Mouth Click), filed suit against Harry’s estate, seeking back payments on child support. The case was dismissed when it was discovered that many of the giant diamonds Harry had found in the jungle were fakes and that his many stored sacks of gold were filled with moldy cheeses.