Perpetual damsel-in-distress and possible romantic interest to Mario, Princess Peach has spent most of her life getting kidnapped. She goes outside for a stroll… kidnapped. Makes a smoothie… kidnapped. Inspects her royal guard… kidnapped. Here is the official list of what she has been kidnapped by:

• Donkey Kong
• Bowser
• Koopa Kids
• Turtles
• Winged Turtles
• Giant Bullets
• Chomp-Chomps
• Piranha Flowers
• Postmen
• Grocery Clerks
• Ferrets
• Other Princesses
• Hammer Brothers
• Chairmakers
• Sets of Golf Clubs
• Waiters
• Chemists
• Vertical Blinds
• Vegetarians
• Paint Cans
• Wool Blankets
• Police
• Bankers
• Spoon Collections
• Jungle Rhythms
• G.I. Joe
• Hot Dog Buns
• Crown Moulding
• Skylights
• Babies
• Metaphors
• Cupcakes
• Radiators
• Karaoke
• Hockey Pucks
• Chicago
• Lines of Longitude
• Digital Displays
• Deer
• Meadows
• British SAS
• Pacific Ocean
• Hospitals
• Scented Candles
• Horoscopes
• Apollo Creed
• 3×5 Index Cards
• Duvet Covers
• Tailors
• Photocopiers
• Heads of Marketing
• Swedish Meatballs
• Shingles
• The Bronze Age
• Curved Space
• Liquid Detergent
• Protons
• Wacky Magnets
• Toothpaste
• Line Cooks
• Extended Warranties
• Texaco
• Casino Dealers
• Pre-Schoolers
• Movie Credits
• Vacuum Cleaners
• Wristwatches
• Puppeteers
• 3-Prong Outlets
• Minty Breath
• House Cats
• Alley Cats
• Road Salt
• Censored Literature
• Mexico
• Large-Format Printing
• Local Broadcasters
• Area Rugs
• Wario
• Mixing Bowls
• Weed Gardens
• Urban Planning
• Goldenrod Coloured Paper
• Corgis
• Philip Seymour Hoffman
• The Old West
• Trans-Atlantic Flights
• Curried Eggplant
• Arbor Day
• Legal Pads
• Saddle Stitching
• Dentists
• Kids
• Naps