Rau, the Polynesian barbarian hero of The Mark of Kri and Rise of the Kasai, was celebrated in his time as being one of the first videogame characters who could take on multiple enemies at once using a specialized combat system. The combat, which in our experience involved flailing around in circles with a big stick, was controlled with the PlayStation2’s Dual Shock 2 analog knobs.

Unbeknownst to most players, the analog controls could also be used to perform a variety of activities that had nothing to do with fighting. Some of them included:

• Opening a whole shelf of really tough pickle jars at once.
• Scratching off three dozen lottery cards if they happen to surround Rau at the same time.
• Simulating all the roles of the closing number of Les Miserables (including Chorus).
• Taking an entire kennel’s worth of dogs for a walk.
• Sewing Christmas sweaters for everyone in the extended family, including kids, in tandem.
• Placing 1st through 10th place in the county chili cook-off.
• Simultaneously debating the entire field of Democratic, Republican, Green, Libertarian, Communist and Independent presidential primary candidates.
• Beating 50 rugs hung up on a web of clotheslines.
• Filling out an entire book of Mad Libs during one coffee break.