Soon after the ending of the 1986 game Metroid revealed that protagonist Samus Aran was a lady (and not a male cyborg, not that a cyborg is male anyway, so whatever), Hugh Hefner took an interest in the young starlet and offered her $50,000 to pose in Playboy magazine.

Aran politely declined what was then considered a significant sum of money, and has reportedly turned down other offers from the Hefner as subsequent Metroid games themselves have revealed more and more of her sought-after assets.

The game hero has never given a reason for her refusal to appear in the magazine, but fans have speculated that Aran’s relationship with a high-level Nintendo executive may be the cause, or that Aran may have some physical disfigurement that would embarass her if exposed to the world. They are idiots.

For the foreseeable future, the only way anime-bred horndogs can see Samus completely nude is to troll the Internet for crudely imagined fan art renderings of her drawn by people who have obviously never seen a real woman naked, or, of course, in their imaginations during a fanboy circle jerk.