No one likes to be mean, but it must be said: the Microsoft Sidewinder Dual Strike is only remembered today because of its supreme ugliness. If ugly were bricks, this thing would be Grand Central Station. If ugly were moles, this thing would be a Moleskin. If ugly were yo momma… well, we already knew that.

The Sidewinder Dual Strike was a solution for a problem that didn’t exist: it was meant for idiots who wanted to play first-person shooter games on a PC, but insisted on playing them with a game pad. The socket-like ball of the joystick was meant to replicate mouse-looking while the rest of the contraption was meant to evoke Victorian torture devices. Did we mention it was ugly?

Before fading entirely into obscurity, the Dual Strike befriended a kindly doctor who promised to try to help the poor beast fit into society and to help with the gamepad’s continuing health problems. When several gaming magazines criticized the controller for its looks, calling it a “Monstrosity,” the Dual Strike responded desperately, “I am not an animal! I am a gamepad meant to simulate fluid mouse control in a PC first-person shooter!”

The Dual Strike eventually died in 2002 in its sleep while trying to recline like a normal gamepad, dislocating its ball joint, a tragedy caused by one of its many design deficiencies. The entire thing was filmed in lush black and white.