Dear Lord,

Please give me the strength to get through this shift.

I will not drink on the job.

Customers who pressure me to serve them delicious, tasty Budweiser beer more quickly will simply have to wait until I can get to them. I will not over-extend myself trying to please everyone.

I will not taste-test each new tap to make sure “The hops are working right.” Not this time.

I won’t stare at Shelly’s chest no matter what she’s wearing when she comes in.

Slow and steady wins the race… slow and steady wins the race.

Please, God, give me the strength to resist the clean, great-tasting, less-filling goodness of Budweiser, even if it is the King of Beers, and thus served in Heaven where You dwell.

I will not let Earl provoke me, even if he took my girl and ruined everything.

I will resist the urge to kill.

If the Alcohol Bureau is coming, please give me the speed to push the button to change the automatic sign and to begin serving root beer before they get here.

Please don’t let me destroy my life again, God.

I will take it one day at a time.

Amen.