Voldo is the blind and most likely insane fighter from the Soul Edge / Soul Calibur series of weapon-based fighter games. His distinctive contortionist fighting style is matched by his equally unique bondage-inspired dress. He’s also an experienced traveller thanks to his charity work in support of fingernailless children across the world. His packing list is as follows:

• Full set of finger spurs
• Large selection of rubber dildos
• Handcuffs x 4
• Economy size bottle of personal lubricant from Costco
• 3oz. bottle of personal lubricant for carry-on
• Leather thong
• International power converter
• 3 masks — 2 leather, 1 latex
• Mesh shirt
• Aqua shoes for the beach
• Sprayable SPF30 sunscreen
• One tin of homemade Voldo buttercups with pecans, for the case workers
• Cat o’ Nine Tails
• iPod Shuffle full of soul hits of the 70s
• Raincoat poncho, just in case!
• Electric nipple clips
• Sudoku books for the quiet times