Walking Egg from Burgertime, Internal Monologue of

OH MY GOD WHAT’S HAPPENED TO ME?! I’M AN EGG! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! THERE’S YOLK WHERE MY BELLYBUTTON USED TO BE! OH JESUS I’M SCARED. OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. WILL SYLVIA BELIEVE IT’S ME AND WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS? OH MY GOD HOW CAN I BE A GOOD FATHER TO MY CHILDREN WHEN I CAN’T EVEN TALK OR HOLD A JOB? OH HOLY GOD I CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING BECAUSE I HAVE NO EARS! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? WAS IT THE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS I REGIFTED? DID I TAKE TOO MANY TAKE-A-PENNIES? ARRRGGGGH! MY YOLK JIGGLES WHEN I WALK AND I DON’T LIKE IT! WHHHY? WHHHHY? THIS ISN’T FAIR! Oh hey, a chef. I’m going to get that bastard.


